"America's Allies Are Walking Away, And Trump Can't Figure Out Why
Let's start with the best analogy I can give you for what's happening right now in global trade. Now stay with me here because this is worth the double strength macchiato
Imagine you set fire to your own house to claim the insurance money. Except you forgot you were still inside it. And while you're standing in the burning wreckage going "this is fine," your neighbours are watching from across the street thinking, yeah, we're never lending this di**head a ladder again.
That's America's trade policy in 2026. Welcome to the show.
On February 20th, the Supreme Court of the United States, the highest court in the land, the most serious legal institution in the most powerful country on Earth, ruled 6-3 that Donald Trump had spent an entire year illegally taxing the whole fu**ing planet. Chief Justice John Roberts looked at the administration's legal argument and basically wrote, in official Supreme Court language, you made this up. You collected $160 billion from businesses around the world based on a legal theory that, upon close inspection, does not exist.
One hundred and sixty billion dollars. Gone. Illegally collected. No refund plan. Just pure, uncut, weapons-grade vibes.
So what does a stable genius do when the highest court in his own country tells him his entire economic agenda is unlawful?
He announces new tariffs within hours. Ten percent on everything, globally. Then wakes up the next morning, stretches, has a Diet Coke, and bumps it to fifteen percent. Just because. Because being told "no" by nine Supreme Court justices apparently hits different when you process it overnight and decide, you know what, f*** those guys, fifteen percent.
This is the economic equivalent of being convicted of speeding, walking out of court, and immediately doing a burnout in the car park. In a school zone.
Now here's where the rest of the world collectively loses its sh**, because it's not just embarrassing anymore. It's expensive. And when things get expensive, countries stop being polite.
The European Union had spent months negotiating a trade deal with America. They called it the Turnberry Agreement. The EU swallowed a genuinely terrible deal where 15% tariffs got slapped on most of their exports, held their nose, and signed it, because at least it was stable. At least they knew what the rules were.
Then the Supreme Court nuked the whole foundation the deal was built on, Trump immediately replaced it with a brand new tariff regime he invented in 48 hours, and the EU's response was to call an emergency meeting and propose freezing the entire ratification process.
The EU's trade chief, Bernd Lange, described America's policy as, and I want you to savour every single word of this quote: "Pure tariff chaos."
Not "concerning." Not "complex." Pure. fu**ing. Chaos. That's a senior European lawmaker, officially, publicly, describing the economic policy of the world's most powerful country. They're not even trying to be diplomatic anymore. They've gone straight to chaos. We've skipped the pleasantries entirely.
And France? Oh, France is absolutely losing their minds in the most beautifully French way possible. The French Foreign Minister announced that France is now analysing whether the existing trade deal with America is even legally valid.
Not a future deal. An existing one. Already signed. They're paying lawyers to sit in a room and answer the question: does this mean anything? Is this real? Or is this just a piece of paper with a madman's signature on it?
France is fact-checking whether America's word means anything. Let that sentence rattle around in your head.
And then there's India, who had everything ready to go. Interim trade deal, framework agreed, tariffs coming down from 25% to 18%, flight booked to Washington for three days of negotiations on February 23rd. Everything was lined up beautifully.
Then Trump got slapped by the Supreme Court and immediately announced 15% tariffs on India anyway, and India's response was to cancel the flight, issue a statement about needing to "evaluate the latest developments," and quietly think, what is the actual point of negotiating a deal with a man who doesn't know what a deal is?
India didn't even bother with a dramatic breakup speech. They just ghosted. They left Washington on read. Outstanding.
And Canada. Beautiful, patient, exhausted Canada, who has been copping this sh** longer than anyone. Their Prime Minister stood up at Davos, in front of every major economy on Earth, and said publicly: the US is no longer a reliable partner, find new friends, build your own resilience.
The Prime Minister of America's closest neighbour went to the World Economic Forum and told the entire global economy to make alternative arrangements. Not in private. At Davos. With cameras rolling.
The world isn't just walking away from America. It's walking away, and it's doing it loudly, on purpose, so everyone can see.
And Trump's trade negotiator went on television and said he hasn't heard anyone say the deal is off.
Brother. The EU called it chaos in an official statement. France is hiring lawyers to check if your signature means anything. India cancelled the flight without even a courtesy call. Canada is literally recruiting replacement friends at the world's biggest economic conference. What exactly does it take for you to register that something has gone wrong? Does someone need to fax you a letter? Would a singing telegram help?
Here's the kicker, and it's the part that should make every single person reading this genuinely furious regardless of their politics. The replacement tariff regime Trump threw together after the Supreme Court humiliated him, his great comeback plan, his bold new economic vision, expires in 150 days. By law. It's capped at fifteen percent and it runs out in five months and then the whole fu**ing circus starts again.
No serious business on Earth is building factories and restructuring supply chains based on a trade policy that might be illegal, changes overnight because someone woke up cranky, and expires in five months like a supermarket voucher.
$160 billion illegally collected. Allies walking. Deals frozen. France fact-checking your credibility. India ghosting you. Canada publicly recruiting alternatives. And a replacement policy with a use-by date.
Other than that though, tremendous. Really tremendous. The best trade policy anyone's ever seen. Everyone's saying it. Especially the allies. They're definitely saying it."

